Dealing with loneliness
What is loneliness?
Everyone's experiences of loneliness are different. It's very subjective and personal to us.
You should not blame yourself for feeling lonely now or at any other time, and it's also really important to remember that loneliness and difficult feelings can pass.
Some ways loneliness can be experienced are:
- emotional loneliness – a lack of emotional attachment to someone like a close friend or partner
- social loneliness – a lack of friends to go out with, or who share our hobbies or interests
- existential loneliness – a sense of being in a room of people you know and still feeling alone
Some people experience loneliness occasionally – perhaps only at certain times, like Sundays or Christmas – while others feel lonely all the time, which is sometimes called chronic loneliness.
Signs or symptoms of loneliness
We often talk about feelings of loneliness, such as feeling isolated or not feeling connected, but we can also have physical symptoms of loneliness and it can also affect our behaviour.
For instance, you may:
- get nervous about or avoid going to social events
- change your daily routines, like stop cooking for yourself, caring about your appearance or getting up early
- find it difficult to get to sleep or stay asleep
Loneliness and our health
If loneliness is very severe or lasts a long time, it might increase the risk of some physical conditions such as dementia and mental health conditions such as stress, anxiety, low mood or depression.
What causes loneliness?
There can be many reasons for our loneliness – and sometimes there is no obvious cause and it's just how we feel.
However, things that happen to us in life, like losing a loved one, perhaps through a bereavement or break-up, can make us feel lonely.
Other life changes, especially those that take us away from home or may cause us to be more socially isolated, can also make us lonely, including:
- leaving to go to university
- staying at home to look after a newborn baby
- a long-term health condition that results in either long stays in hospital or being unable to leave home
- becoming a full-time carer for someone we live with
Tips on dealing with loneliness
If you are feeling lonely, or know someone else who is, there are plenty of simple, affordable actions you can take.
- Keep in touch with people
- Join a group
- Do things you enjoy
- Share your feelings
- Connect with others or volunteer to help
- Invite someone along to activities near you
More help and support for loneliness
The NHS mental health hub has advice, audio guides and practical tools to help you. Plus check our urgent support page if you need help now.
Mind
Mind has information about dealing with loneliness and offers tips and advice on coping with these feelings.
- visit the Mind website
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM)
CALM runs a phone line and web chat that's open 5pm to midnight everyday. Chats are free, confidential and anonymous.
- call 0800 58 58 58
- visit the CALM website
NSPCC
NSPCC offers a free 11 week course to help young people understand and manage loneliness with a trained befriender:
- visit the NSPCC Building Connections programme to find out more
Silverline
Silverline is a free 24-hour confidential telephone helpline offering information, friendship and advice to people over 55:
- call 0800 4 70 80 90
- visit the Silverline website
Befriending Networks
Find information on befriending, including an online directory of UK befriending services that you can refer yourself or someone else to.
- visit the Befriending website
The Mix
The Mix offers free confidential help for under-25s to get support online and via a helpline:
- call 0808 808 4494
- text "THEMIX" to 85258
- visit The Mix website for a free online chat service
Marmalade Trust
Marmalade Trust is a charity that raises awareness of loneliness. Their website can help you understand more about loneliness, how to talk about it and the physical effects it can have.
